Log # 79
A couple weeks ago I was watching a video where the orator was addressing those who moved abroad for the betterment of their and their families’ lives. He said that you need to look after yourself because you are there for all those you left back home, but no one is there for you. I watched this video a few times and then took some time to think about it. He was not wrong. Every single thing that he was saying was true. Those who move abroad, always think of their parents and siblings first but never give themselves a second thought. And those who are back home think that the one who changed their life entirely is the one who has it better and therefore must sacrifice.
In the last few days, I have started to realize it more and more that I truly have no one but myself. Everything and every relation is indeed transactional. One way or another. Whoever is telling you otherwise, is lying. We are fed lies and brainwashed from a very young age that blood is always thicker but in our life we will see multiple times how truly thin this blood is. Many will also tell you that family is only who you are born out of but the kind of family experience I had, I will never agree with this statement. This is not how a family should be.
We are also told that no matter what your parents will always be there for you. They love all their children deeply and equally. Well, news flash for those who don’t know – that also is a lie. Parents only like the child who did things the way they wished for. Got education that the parents wanted, chose a career that the parents allowed, married in family that the parents picked. Most important of all, makes good money and gives them the money. That one is the favourite golden child. A cow that can be milked. An object that they can boast about. Take their wills, desires and finances from this child’s life and he/she will be the least liked. I see it happening now and I am certainly going to remember this for a long time.
One advantage to those who moved abroad and got away, is that they can look and analyze their family’s preferences and behaviours from bird eye-view and identify what and who the problem is. The more you look and understand, the more resentments you build or not. It’s relative but will always be linear. The constant will always be the fact that you need to take care of yourself because you got no one. While you will be and were there for them – when you need someone, you will be alone. My father made this mistake and I see where he stands now for all these family members. Hopefully, I will not make the same mistake.