Log # 78
On a daily basis, we carry several fake and dishonest conversations. But the fakest of them all is asking the questions “How are you” and responding it with “I’m good”. It is usually the first question asked after greetings or salutations. The one asking it is asking because it’s a formality to do so, they are neither concerned nor interested in knowing the details of how are you actually doing. The one answering also is aware of it because they do the same as well. They know if they start telling you that they’re not doing well, money is tight or another one of their ongoing misery – people are going to distance themselves because this isn’t what they wanted to know.
I learned about it a long time ago and ever since my default response to “how are you” has always been “I am good, Alhamdulilah”. You will not hear from me on how I am really doing. Most people don’t care and many others will only find joy in my pain anyway. Now I am not saying that I am having a bad time or I am being ungrateful for the beautiful life I have. But not every day is the same and as the time goes on, several worries take over you. A couple times I tried telling some ‘friends’ of the things I was going through and it was only met with judgement and them pulling away. No fault of them, they were not the friends one may need around.
You have to be selective with who you want around and how close they ought to be. Not everyone you meet is your well-wisher and truly some people find immense joy to see you suffer through life. Sincerity and integrity is a hard to find trait these days. Would you consider responding to a simple “how are you” with a fake “I’m good” or would that be a lie? If that is a lie, is it okay to tell this lie? I don’t believe going around telling everyone your state of life is ideal as well, so then we lie? It’s so interesting that nearly every conversation we start with anyone on a daily basis starts with a how are you. A default question for which the response is expected to be a positive, not the truth or reality. A default answer mostly responded with, perhaps, a lie, telling you that they are doing great. What a show we have to pull off everyday!